Well, He Did It. He made it through his first year at college.
To be honest, I never had any doubts.
It's tough for any young adult to leave home - tough for the parents, that is. We have a hard time cutting that dependancy chord - after all, they need us! They seemingly can't do anything without help or supervision. It sure seemed that way while they were living at home.
But independence creates awareness. Independence awakens the realization that one needs to make their own decisions. No longer does mom and dad tell you where to go, when to go, what to eat, when to eat, who to see . . .
The first half of the semester was full of trials and tribulations. He experienced his first true sense of absolute independence and took advantage of it. It was after the Christmas Break came the realization that with independence comes responsibility. He excused himself from the demands of the frat, quit smoking, (kept the girl friend) and concentrated on his academics. What a difference a semester makes.
His phone call subjects changed from "Dad, I need money for Frat dues . . ." to "Will you read this paper and tell me what you think . . .?"
"When I was young my father used to give me advice. Plenty of advice. Some I disregarded as just the delusions of a old man. Others I took to heart. But there are two things he told me over and over until I finally understood:
"Listen to other people - they have something to say. But don't just take what they say as the absolute truth. Form you own opinions. Think for yourself."
"Travel - especially out of the country. Don't be afraid to see the world. It is amazing to experience other cultures and see your country through another's eyes."
It was, and is, difficult to follow the first. He made sure I did the second. He took my mother and I when he traveled - and travel he did. From London, England to Sydney, Australia and many points in between. We have been throughout this country - from Bangor, Maine to Key West, Florida. Catalina Island, California to Baltimore, Maryland. I have seen many things and have many experiences.
I noticed the difference in attitudes and beliefs of the people in different countries; in different parts of the country; even in different parts of a city.
I recognized that there were differences dependent on geographic location - the 'North' versus the 'South' in the United States; the 'Asian Urban Yuppie' in Sydney versus the indigenous Aborigine of the Outback; the huge divisions within the U.K. - Wales, Scotland, Ireland . . . a single land with great differences. I began to recognize that people were treated differently for many reasons.
I learned that color makes a difference. So does one's religion. I learned that one's social position may have everything to do with birthright or nothing at all to do with who you really are. Gender, language, education, family, all affect the empowerment of everything from individuals to governments. A sense of nationalism pervades the populace. Don't agree? Australia is a country that prides itself on it's rise from a nation initially populated with rejects and criminals to one of prosperity and influence. Yet at the same time it feels shame for the same reason - those criminals and rejects will never go away. As a country, Australia has much to be proud of - yet when people speak of their heritage they always seem to apologize. In the United Kingdom, Margaret Thatcher's conservative government was viewed much differently than is Tony Blair's today. Simply because she is a woman. In the United States there seems to be a general feeling of entitlement; we are the greatest nation on Earth, we deserve only the best and everyone should love us because of it.
As a youngster I never noticed the difference between my family and my friends families: we were simply having fun together. Later, I was taught that there were difference and that, for some reason, these differences would matter. An important life lessons learned for example: enjoying breakfast in the sidewalk cafe at our hotel in Phoenix and having a homeless man come up, asking for and taking the toast off my plate and eating it. This life chance taught me that my having access to important societal resources such as food, clothing, shelter and health made me different than the homeless man. I felt superior to him and yet sickened at the same time.
I learned that education is a form of social stratification. Simply knowing the term 'social stratification' and learning the meaning creates a gap between I and that homeless man. I have experienced this hierarchy of inequalities firsthand; the ranking from inferiority to superiority. I have seen the structural ranking of entire groups of people that perpetuates unequal economic rewards and power in a society. I have seen systematic inequalities of wealth, power and prestige that results from social rank. We all have.
An education is a powerful possession. With it one can identify many things previously not understood or invisible. I now know that alienation is a feeling of powerlessness and estrangement from other people and from oneself; that class conflict is the struggle between the capitalist class and the working class. I know that prestige is the respect or regard with which a person or status position is regarded by others. I understand that Power is the ability of people or groups to achieve their goals despite opposition from others.
"Where you folks from?" the carriage driver asked.
"Baltimore."
"Where?"
"Baltimore. Maryland."
"Ahhh. So you automatically think that everyone just automatically knows where Baltimore is, huh? Well, it might surprise you that we do... but it ain't nice thinking..."
That was in Savannah, Georgia. I remember it because he was right - I did have the perception that people just knew where Baltimore was located. It started me thinking about what it said about me . . . my perceptions . . . my social class. What do you think when you hear the word 'Baltimore'? It probably depends on where you live. Those from a rural area may think 'big city' and all it's associated connotations. If you live in nearby Washington, D.C. you think 'blue collar'. Most people I have spoken to when told 'Baltimore" think of nice cars, big buildings, sports team, water and snotty people, but an overall upper-class region. And so we measure social classes. We use objective criteria such as income, occupation, education and residence to determine social place. We also develop and use subjective methodologies such as language, speech, hobbies, what one eats, style of life, and acceptance by people of that class. Other criteria such as mannerisms and in general the way one interacts with others determine the level of social acceptance. To be a part of a social class, you have to be accepted by the people of that social class and lead the style of life of that class. Income alone will not put one in a particular socioeconomic class, but a person must have enough money to lead the style of life of people of that particular class.
I know from experience that socioeconomic status is used to measure individuals, families, or households in terms of factors such as income, occupation, and education to determine class location. In the U.S. there are many socioeconomic classes, including the upper, middle, and lower with sub-classes in each. All the classes are open but the upper-upper, which is essentially closed. There is no or very little mobility into the upper-upper class; one is born in it. I also know that there is mobility within any given social status. There is mobility in the downward direction - it's relatively easy to achieve Underclass status. I myself am an example of an intergenerational change: my father began from a poor underclass family - the first in his family to graduate from college - to enter to the upper-middle class. I am a product of that change - and I expect to further that change. He gave me the gift of opportunity -- the first-hand experience to witness and appreciate that socioeconomic status and class exists at every level - all over the world. Baltimore may or may not be the glamorous area that people expect it to be - it all depends on your socioeconomic class."
The paper is fine with me, son. Congratulations on a job well done. We're proud of you.
